demon pelican zombies

You see that bird on the left there. If I were to tell you what he’s been through I would have to eat some very happy meatloaf. It all started out by me getting my regular cup of coffee when I heard a knock on the door. I went to go open it when BOOM ZOMBIES. It all started out when he killed his mom, but she happened to leave the speaker on while she was calling her work while she got killed so now he had to kill her coworkers. They worked at aflack a car insurance company. He ate a lot of tasty nachos so his brain could expand to be able to see hungry books. But his brain expanded too much and exploded leaving a huge hole in his head giving him a demon cowish look. He loaded up on ammo and packed heavy. He took the ventilation and planted tons of smoke bombs. But he noticed when he jumped out of the ventilation BOOM ZOMBIES. The zombies where attacking the vending machines which fueled the employees minds. So now most of the other workers turned into zombies. It was a massacre the remaining workers held it out and made their last stand in the lunch room. They used forks and spoons to fight. He took advantage of what was happening and came through the back of the lunch room and killed all the remaining workers by cutting their throats or strangling them. In the process he broke the barricade and the demon zombies flooded in and killed the remaining duffering workers. He then quickly ran to the staff room to grab the EMERGENCY CHAINSAW.
He then used it to kill some 8,482,113,521 demon zombies. Which by then he ran out of gas and started to use his machete. As he was making his last stand he noticed his brother stumble into the room. His brother’s legs where eaten off by the demon zombies. His brother then cried out “help me”. In response to what his brother said he then used the flag pole to beat and impale his neck with until there was a reasonable amount of blood leaking, which then he used his dull machete to finish him off with. He then made an attempt to get to the roof to get to the helicopter, but as he was ascending up the stairs inflamed couches at the speed 364 mph were falling in his path. He then lost his legs, three livers, his only heart (which he has two of) one eye, two waffles, and other stuff that really didn’t have anything to do with intentional paper clippings in the process. He then suffered 68 hours of bleeding and excruciating pain due to not being able to eat his leftovers, which were just out of reach. After the incident with the lawnmower he then crawled to the roof and signaled to his helicopter that his brother (that died) was piloting, who was drunk. He then fended the remaining demon zombies with book called ”how to cook with no salt”. As the helicopter approached the zombies that were being beating to death by his book fell over the edge and caught the helicopter’s propellers on the way down, which then caused his brother to crash into him. His brother was disintegrated in a 83 ft radius. He then spent his last moments eating tacos with no gravy yes I said no gravy as he was being devoured be demon zombies. In the end he suffered for 684 hours, bleed 1827 gallons, failed to reach his leftovers, and is still suffering as we speak due to a lack of gravy even though he was devoured by the demon zombies. In the very end he didn’t get to ride the happy unicorns over the happy elf filled rainbow. In the very depressing end he killed himself using two barrels of floss, eight suitcases and a used doorknob.